Friday, September 29, 2006Dad, You're an Idiot
You know, I have been reading quite a lot of articles and blog entries about cultivating discipline in our children (mostly "traditional ways"). If you had met Little Skywalker, I am sure that you would agree with me that his parents are very lacking in that area. He is somewhat a spoiled brat as many of you might call it, but I think that's the way we want him to be.
We are watching 8 Simple Rules... for Dating My Teenage Daughter recently, and I would like to share something from that show that really drove home for what we have in mind for parenting our little monkey boy...
Okay readers, today we're having a little pop quiz, it's multiple choice, so sharpen your number 2 pencils and put your thinking caps on. Ready?
Here's a quote: "Dad, you're an idiot." Now, contestants, this was said to me because of which of the following transgressions?
A: Coming to the breakfast table wearing pajamas and black socks?
B: Asking my oldest daughter if that guy I saw her talking to yesterday at school was her boyfriend?
C: Referring to rapper Fiddy Cent as "Fifty Cents"? or
D: Entering the room?
Okay, pencils down. Actually it was a trick question. The answer is all of the above.
Now do you know how many times I called my father an idiot? Zero. Why? Because I feared him. Back then, we didn't share our deep personal feelings, our deepest conversations usually revolved around the tigers bull pen. But my kids, I can't get them to shut up! There's not a feeling that my kids are afraid to express over and over and over. And my wife reassures me that this is a good thing over and over and over, and she's always right.
So do I wish that my kids feared me? Well my house would be quieter, and I'd spend a lot less time in the bathroom, but no. Because I know that whenever they insult me whether it's a "You're an idiot," "You're a geek," or an "I hate you," an "I love you" isn't far behind. And it's the knowledge that my wife and kids love me that makes it safe for me to wear pajamas and black socks to the breakfast table.
I am always of the opinion that as mature parents, we should be the one who should forgive and forget when our children make mistakes in their life. As long as they do not cross the line between naughty and bad, we should be the one who learn to put up with their behavior, and not expecting vice versa. Shouting at them or hitting them frequently to "show that we love them" doesn't mean a thing unless they are already parents themselves.
I know children can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but I'm sure we do not want our children to grow up under our shadows. We want them to be what they want to be, not what we want them to turn out. Otherwise, we should just go clone ourselves instead of giving birth to children. We are no saints, and we do crack from time to time. However, it's always good to have the big picture in mind to restrain ourselves from over-parenting.
Just something to inspire parents out there...
Jotted down by Egghead :: at around 9/29/2006 08:16:00 AM :: and invited 16 Blah(s):
16 Blah(s) by: twinsmom, Shannon, Shannon, , geetha, , , miche, Hijackqueen, , , jazzmint, Contented Mum, Julian, Zara's Mama, Allyfeel, Share