Friday, August 05, 2005
A Second Wife For Me? Hmmm...OK. I know is not even legal for me as a non-Muslim, but none-the-less it's worth debating.
I read about an ex-military officer who got acid all over himself after a fight with his wife over his request to get another wife. The male victim (30) was married to his wife (50) ten years ago. His wife was a widow back then with nine children (it is not clearly specified whether any of the children was born out of their marriage or her previous one).
The man also admitted to beating his wife up (out of anger apparently) after she refused to meet up with the would-be second wife (20) before the alleged attack. (Why isn't he being locked-up for this??)
The wife was being remanded by the police and subsequently brought to court over the alleged attack on her husband. Following the incident, the man still insist of getting a second wife despite obvious disapproval of his first wife (Islamic law requires the man to get approval of his wife before committing polygamy).
If my calculations are correct, the guy actually married a 40 years old woman at the age of 20. What a huge gap in age! Although it has been said that love knows no boundary, but I just cannot imagine myself being married to a person twice my age! In the old days, she would be old enough to become his mother already.
J and I got hitched for more than two years already. Since then, we've had our fair share of disagreements and arguments, but never a case of physical abuse. FYI, we were born on the same year, and just two days apart of each other, and in the same hospital (KL Hospital) as well (SPOOKY!). She subsequently moved to JB due to relocation of his father's job.
After two and a half decades later, we met up between JB and KL (at MMU Malacca campus) when we pursue our tertiary studies. I first saw her while she was staring blindly into thin air on her balcony in the girl's hostel when I was helping a classmate to move her electric piano to her room.
Maybe it was love at first sight? I was introduced later to her by her classmate, who happened to be a friend of mine. I managed to get her phone number later (also through a friend) and called her out to a date to Jusco nearby. We actually walked 15 minutes to Jusco and back on our first date as the bus services in Malacca wasn't that efficient back then.
After that, we've been going out ever since. We kept in touch through letters and phone calls (cannot even imagine how much it costs) during our semester breaks and holidays. I traveled quite often to JB during our courtship and her parents are very nice people to allow me stay at their place.
After our graduation, J began her work in JB while I started in KL. It is quite hard to maintain a long distance relationship, especially given J's looks and personalities. Due to work constrain, it is getting harder and harder for us to visit each other. We thought it might be better for both of us to work nearby. I know it would be asking too much of J to get her to come to KL unless we are both really committed in the long run.
This went on for more than a year until we finally came to a decision to get married. It might seem hasty to outsiders but we have been discussing about it for a long time. However, the first step was to get a job for J in KL. As luck strikes, my boss was looking for an account executive for my parent company. As my boss trust me a lot, I managed to get his attention in hiring J. My boss and I actually flew down to JB (on his way to Singapore and a sponsored trip for me) to meet J for the first time. With the "well-oiled" mouth my boss had, he managed to tipped J's scale towards working for him.
Our plan went well with J resigning from her big audit firm few weeks later and came to KL. She was living with me (in separate rooms mind you) in my parents' place. While she get used to her new working environment, we planned for our next big step - marriage and buying a house.
We managed to squeeze our implementation of the plan within a few months with help from both parents. We moved in to our house and married on the same day and started our life as husband and wife. All these seems quite natural to us although we are relatively young compared to other people around us when we got married.
One and a half year later, Little Skywalker came in to our lives. He brought us more joy and colors to our lives (not to mention nine months of suffering and subsequently 20 years of upbringing). We are now a small happy family trying to make it out in the big city. However, we do plan to move or migrate to a better environment (namely Sweden, Finland, Switzerland, New Zealand or Japan) once we acquire the means to do retire for good.Given all that we've been through, (I don't know about J) I certainly do not have the slightest thought of going for a second mistress more so second wife (if I become a Muslim). I am not saying that I do not respect the teachings of other religions, but I certainly encouraged all men to be faithful to their spouse till "death do us part".
After all, I just cannot believe that a single man can share his love equally with more than one woman. To me, if you are not prepared to commit to a single person, I guess you are not prepared for marriage and a family.
Furthermore, if men cannot stand a woman committing to two men, why are we expecting otherwise?
What do you think?
Jotted down by Egghead :: at around 8/05/2005 12:00:00 PM :: and invited 3 Blah(s):
3 Blah(s) by:
5xmom.com,
Su Zen,
Willwolf,
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